My Sick Colleague

So, you phoned in sick this morning. Woop-de-do.

Oh, you’ve got the runs? Oh dear.

I really can’t see what the problem is. It’s 25 feet from your desk to the toilet and as you don’t do any fucking work when you’re here and just sit at your desk, it’s not a long walk is it?

Let’s do a quick analysis of your work for Monday and Tuesday:

You updated your CV. Twice.

You moaned about the heat.

You spent two hours looking at the BBC News website

You whinged about the amount of calls in the queue

You checked the internal jobs advertisments.

You whinged that you were ineligible to apply for any of them.

You fucked off at 1530 when you knew damned fine it was my privilege yesterday.

You phoned in sick this morning.

What a great start to your working week. Wanker.